So, here’s my first attempt at blogging. Let’s see how it goes…
I have been living in Cyprus now for a full year and I really wanted to share my experiences and perspectives with people, seeing as I have learnt so much and observed so much during the past year. The following is just one of many observations, but it’s one that is frequently talked about, throughout Cyprus.
So here goes, I hope you enjoy…
How to survive the crazy mentality that encompasses the Cypriot mind
First things first, move to a place at least a fifteen minute drive out of the city. The locals will think you’re crazy for living ‘so far out’ and won’t hassle you half as much as they would if you lived in the city. Plus, you get the added bonus of a quiet neighbourhood, so the chances of finding a random car ‘parked’ in your driveway are massively reduced.
Once you’ve achieved this, don’t be fooled into thinking the rest will be an easy ride. Living in Cyprus can be hard work. Despite the glorious, unrelenting sunshine for something like 95% of the year, there are other areas of concern which can make Cyprus quite a tough cookie for survival.
First, you’ve got the relentless battle to look good gone uncompromisingly wrong.
The never-ending sight of skin tight clothing aggressively forced over bulging skin is no longer a sight for sore eyes (since it is a sight so regularly seen by the naked eye that most of us have miraculously become immune to it). I don’t even bat an eyelid when I see this unsightly vision anymore, but I will always acknowledge its hideousness.
Then there are the nails, the bountiful, but not beautiful nails. The longer, louder and tackier… The better. For some unbeknown reason, Cypriot women seem to be under the hazy impression that long, square, fake nails embellished with crystals are fashionable. However, in every fashion and beauty article I’ve ever read, the status quo amongst fashionistas alike is that, the rounder and softer the nail, the more contemporary and classic the woman. If you want to look like you’ve never been educated in the art of sophistication, then stick to your squares. Otherwise, perhaps you should consider embracing something a little more tasteful. The logic of the square look will always baffle me…
Worst of all is the desire to practice all of the above when doing a simple chore or an easy errand. For example, you will rarely see a Cypriot woman in the supermarket without a face full of makeup and her favourite pair of stilettos. Don’t get me wrong, they do try to make an effort, they just never seem to get it right. Then there’s the coffee shops. Everywhere you look you see a woman who’s just about ready to go to a downtown nightclub where shots are one euro each. Not tasteful.
So from my experience so far, the approach to fashion out here is this: the louder, the brasher, the sparklier, the tackier – the better. Perhaps they really are all educated in the art of artlessness, cluelessness, and how-to-look-your worst, but frankly speaking, in my experience, they haven’t got a clue.
Please stay put for my next post,